We all know the negativity of staying in a relationship or job for too long. You know in your heart of hearts that it’s “over” but you stay. You know you’re sitting in someone else’s dream, but you won’t vacate to find your own. We all know someone like that, or have been there ourselves. It is a very precarious place to be.
The passion has left. The commitment has left. The drive has left. There is little to no positive value contributed and if anything, the goal is to simply find fault in everything, trying to convince themselves (and anyone who will listen) that the other person/company is doomed.
So why do we stay?
Maybe convenience. Maybe revenge or resentment - you’ll show them! Maybe it’s just laziness. Whatever the reason, when we quit and stay, EVERYONE loses including you. Maybe you want to get even, or make someone pay, or maybe you want a free ride. That’s the opposite of integrity & “ain’t good for the soul.
I’ve also seen the devastation of trust in managers and companies that have allowed/enabled people to “quit and stay”. I’ve witnessed the sense of betrayal when leaders turn a blind eye to that negativity because the financial “payoff” is seen to be greater; we know Jo’s a jerk but she’s great at sales! Just ignore her.
Integrity is being honest about our true intentions - as a company and as a person. I recall a senior manager confessing that he was “staying” because he could collect his daughter from school every afternoon - it was convenient, but he hated the job and the company. His covert toxic impact was far reaching and by the time someone had the courage to move him on irreversible damage had been done.
So if you have quit … then leave.
STAY and COMMIT.
If we are going to stay, then lets’ commit 100%. Let’s be mature enough to accept that not all relationships/companies are a bed of roses and if we’re going to make something work it deserves that all in guts effort. It deserves the work required for self awareness and awareness of others. It deserves the loyalty and dedication from a collective group that want to create something great.
To thine own self be true - quit and leave, or stay and commit.